You’ve chosen your bridesmaids, excited to share your dream day with your closest friends. At first they are all DELIGHTED, arriving with piles of wedding magazines and asking 1,000 questions about what you might fancy as the theme of your big day. As the wedding approaches however, you may become discouraged when members of your bridal party fail to carry their weight or fulfil their bridesmaid obligations…

In this situation, communication is essential (and by communication, we do NOT mean the type which requires a certain amount of bitching behind her back…)

If you have a bridesmaid who appears lacking in enthusiasm, acknowledge the demands on her time and ask how you can help. Maybe she’s concerned about the mounting expenses and hasn’t been comfortable bringing it up? Perhaps she’s swamped with other obligations including work or family and could do with a little support herself? Or, maybe, she simply doesn’t know what she’s supposed to do. Don’t make assumptions about her lack of commitment. This is your friendship you’re talking about and arguing about what should be the happiest day of your life is simply not what’s supposed to happen! Be clear about your concerns and be willing to really listen to hers.

Your friendship should always be more important than the bridal-party role. If someone feels the need to withdraw from the wedding party, be gracious. And never write someone out of the party without taking to her, no matter how awkward the situation. Don’t be rash to fire a friend; commit to fighting for the friendship first. Assumptions that ‘she’s just jealous’ or ‘she can’t stand the attention not being solely on her’ are neither helpful, nor always true.

Take the time to reassure her and invest in her. Remain humble and refuse to buy into the bridezilla culture. Share your concerns with your bridesmaids and be careful to not overwhelm them with wedding talk at every moment of the day.