So you’ve decided it’s time to bite the bullet. You’re ready to settle down and tell the person you love that you want to be with them everyday for the rest of your life. Proposing can be quite a stressful affair (asking the parents, picking the spot, judging the perfect moment) Ultimately, you want the answer to be an unequivocal YES YES YES! Whilst proposing should be from the heart and never completely scripted, there are some absolute no no’s when it comes to popping the big question. Make sure you read our checklist on the absolute no go situations when proposing…

We’re begging you – please avoid all of the following when proposing…

• NEVER propose over the phone or the Internet. It is the worst you can do, as it is too impersonal. Loving is all about expressing your feelings, which do not come out over the phone or the Internet. It shows you are not very serious about the whole thing.
• DO NOT propose in front of a large crowd (especially if you know your other half hates being the centre of attention or if you have a tendency to sweat, become nervous or stutter under pressure) You wouldn’t want to embarrass your beloved and then get embarrassed yourself if he/she says no.
• DO NOT be too humorous. It will seem that you are not serious about this proposal. Being too humorous while taking a serious decision spoils the mood and the ambience and blows up the whole thing.
• DO NOT forget your manners and etiquettes while proposing. Don’t propose while eating or while the person is at work. Think about what you want to say and the reasons why you want to spend the rest of your life with your other half.
• DO NOT propose when you don’t mean it. Many people propose in the spur of the moment and then later regret their action. Proposing because family are putting pressure on you, the other half is pregnant or because you’re going through a mild mid-life crisis is just not on.
• DON’T be too dramatic when proposing. Keep it simple and straightforward but do it romantically – bursting into song may be just that little bit too much.
• It is absolutely WRONG to ask your friend or her friend to convey the message on your behalf. It won’t get you a positive reply and you might end up getting a no for your answer. Hence express your feelings, yourselves. Remember – we aren’t 14 and this isn’t a school disco.
• DON’T mix drinking and proposing as will only make a mockery of you with an obvious no. Mixing drinking with every possible thing is equally bad. If in doubt, just rememeber – glass of champagne = OK, blind drunk = never.
• It is a BAD IDEA to propose right after you had a fight as it is the clear case of wrong timing. You might have taken it in a lighter manner but the emotion of anger, frustration and hurt must be running high in the other person.

Oh, and another big no – no is the video below (although if this is your idea of romance, you may want to rent out a few more chick flicks…)

Here are some situations within which you should steer clear of proposing at all costs:

The Social media proposal:

Just because everyone communicates in 140 characters or less these days doesn’t mean that you should propose via Facebook status. Nothing says I’m too lazy to get offline like an e-mail with the subject line “will you marry me.” And please don’t think adding in a clever kissy smiley face will help matters at all.

The Funeral Proposal:

Going to a funeral naturally makes you think about your future. You’re wondering if you’ve done anything worthwhile with your life. But your mid-life crisis is no reason to reach out to last week’s one-night stand and ask them to marry you. Instead of putting yourself on the fast track for a divorce. Please don’t do it.

The edible ring proposal:

It sounds romantically-cliche to propose via an engagement ring hidden at the bottom of chocolate mousse. In reality, it’s a subconscious death wish for your significant other. After all, if you were caught placing choke-able objects in someone’s food in any other situation, you would be arrested for attempted murder.

The ‘during her wedding’ proposal:

Despite what Hollywood may tell you, brides do not want you barging into their wedding, stopping the vows, and proclaiming your love for them. And I’ll tell you what, there are extremely high odds that she will say no. So have some class and save the big, romantic movie gestures for moments when they’re needed — such as when you ask your girlfriend to choose you over her wildly successful job.

One more video on how not to propose…

How NOT to Propose from Bridget Ladd on Vimeo.

We’d love to know how you’d like to be proposed to – or how your other half proposed to you – get in touch by emailing pr(at)thelastdetail.co.uk